Guilty As Sin

In The Flat Hat today, it seems that a mere apparent cover-up of a small amount of meaningless graft by the former SA President can be solved by a (thus far non-forthcoming) apology. I of course refer to the scandal now embroiling 404 Jamestown Road involving SA VP Zach Pilchen's THEFT (since he made no intention of paying it back unless he got caught) of $140 of the PEOPLE'S MONEY. (Aside: ALL GOVERNMENT FUNDS ARE THE PEOPLE'S MONEY, whether they were collected as tax (mandatory student fees) or independently raised. The people (students) are the government (SA). Thus any holdings of the government are holdings of the people. End aside) No, in the eyes of the sages at the allegedly non-political FH, mere "reflection" on his fitness will suffice. Wrong answer. The Japanese have a ritual in which disgraced public figures come before the press, deliver a public apology, bow, and resign in shame. This seems appropriate for Mr. Pilchen, who never had confusion with the debit card before April, but then mysteriously managed to give himself at least seven illicit liquidity advances between April and God-knows-when. And then not tell anyone about it. And apparently "misplace" the receipts. Of course, TFH's editors are far more ethically concerned than Pilchen himself, who has (thus far) neither made restitution (source: TFH) nor apologized, preferring to "gauge student response" before coming clean. Shame on him. Shame on us for electing him and Hopkins (who may be innocent of any wrongdoing, BTW) with a 50 per cent margin. But we can't possibly be faulted, since no hardworking Obama supporter could possibly engage in graft that would have made Spiro Agnew (Nixon's VP for the historically illiterate) sure he had a new protege.

FP/YC Ruling:
Straight Red, Life ban.


UPDATE: He resigned effective 1730 9/02. Source: VIO